In My Lifetime

My New Hero - Joel Burns

Just watch this. And then send the link to this blog or to the YouTube clip to everyone you know. This is the most compelling video I have ever watched.

Here it is folks... PROOF positive that a single person, using their voice, telling their story can change the world.  Tell me what you think...

 

Visit the Trevor Project for more information.

Queer Youth and Religious Debates Over Sexuality

Last Thursday night I left class a few minutes early so I could make my way to the Sperry Room in Andover Hall at Harvard Divinity School.  I wanted to be sure I got a good seat for the panel of scholars and activists that were gathered there for a panel discussion on the topic "Queer Youth and Religious Debates Over Sexuality."  I thought it was a hastily assembled panel set against the news in the past month of 4 suicides of young people whose sexuality or gender identity was questioned and who had been bullied and violated emotionally by their peers and classmates. 

When I arrrived with my companion we found out way to some of the few seats left in the large hall. The first thing of note as we entered the room was uniformed Harvard University police officers posted just inside each of the two entrances to the hall. Cheryl A. Giles of Harvard convened the gathering and to my surprise she indicated that this panel had been planned a year before. Her opening comments were stark in their tone and warning.  She acknowledged that the views expressed by the panel would surely not conform to everyone's ideas about the topic and warned that any disruption to the proceedings would result in being escorted from the hall by one of the uniformed officers.  My stomach sank.  Had we really come to this?  Police officers in a lecture hall at Harvard Divinity School on a Thursday night in October.

I made some notes on each panelists presentations.  It's important to remember that these are my recollections filtered through my own experience and may or may not resemble the presenter's intentions.

Mark D. Jordan, Richard Reinhold Niebuhr Professor of Divinity, Havard University

Queer adults have been forbidden to care for and be mentors to queer youth. We have a responsiblity to support organizations that do care for queer youth.

Anita Bryant had to confuse homosexuality with violent sexual abuse in order to make a case against homosexuals.

We must not allow the idea to persist that it is not possible to be both religious and queer.  The language of tolerance cannot combat religious language against queer people. "We can't help queer youth if we deny them." We must move beyond tolerance in churches to celebrating and helping youth grow into both their sexuality and their spirituality.

We must help them know they are not condemned and that they do not have to give up religion to be queer. "Exile from religion cannot be the cost for beign gay."

 

Pam Garramone, Executive Director of Greater Boston PFLAG 

Churches are teaching us to hate. According to research done by Dr. Caitlin Ryan, when children "come out" as LGBT to them:

30% disown the child, 50% say "I love you" but be quiet about this, 17% accept the situation, only 3% celebrate the news.  Children are 8 times more likely to commit suicide if parents reject their child upon coming out as LGBT.

 

Irene Monroe, public theologian, writer, activist, www.irenemonroe.com

"I have to find creative ways to reach my people."  She wrote for the "gay rags." What role does the church play in promoting unsafe sexual practices?

Discussions of the historical precidents that have formed the "Black Church" in the US today.  Images of over sexualized male African Americans and exotic African American women that have been historically rapped and used by their white male oppressors have driven sterotypes of people of African descent and forced black people into an "us vs. them" mentality that leaves the "Black Church" as sole arbiter of Christian response.  Her discussions of the destructive nature of white racism drew parallels to the destructive nature of rhetoric against LGBT people and the role many churches and faith traditions play in that power dynamic.

Grace Sterling Stowell, Executive Director, BAGLY

A transgender woman who has worked for gender justice for 30 years, she called attention to the drastic need for conversations that include transgender youth.  Citing huge cutbacks in recent years she highlighted the need to support the organizations that are for, by, and with transgender youth.

Harry Knox, Director - Human Rights Campaign Religion and Faith Program

We older ones have done our best and it was hard. We need the vision of the young to move forward now. Young people must put their bodies on the line in the struggle. He cautioned youth LGBT activists not to "eat each other."  He said, "You will make mistakes so decide right now to forgive yourself and go on." 

Each person on this august panel spoke from their heart and each one had a profound impact on me.  But I must admit that Mark Jordan's remarks rang in my head along with a reference to a "comfortable silence" that I read in a column by Patrick Cheng or Debra Haffner last week.  Both has splendid articles Cheng in Huffington Post and Haffner in the Washington Post. Mark's comments seemed to speak directly to me. I was "convicted" as they say in the Baptist tradition to stand up and speak out, to come out and get loud, about the fact that no one can say that one can't be gay and Christian.... because I AM. 

That's why I let it all hang out last week in my sermon "I'm Different and I'm Beloved." I hope that you who read this post will do the same.  Stand up, speak out, defend every child and adult's right to name themselves with regard to gender, sexuality AND faith.  It's time we stopped letting the voices of conservative hate rule the day. It's time we speak out.

 

Adam Loses: Don't Ask Don't Tell Wins the Day

Ok, ok.... I've been away awhile. So why, you might ask, do I open with my whiney, bitchy commentary on Adam Lambert's loss on American Idol? Really simple answer.  Because the reasons he lost are important. 
I'd never watched American Idol in my life until this season.  My companion in Boston coaxed me into watching by getting me to sit through a couple of early shows and we laughed our faces off.  I love to laugh and watching those early shows were fun and seemed harmless.  My travel schedule got really busy and I missed a lot but by the time my regular trips to Boston resumed, Adam Lambert had begun to emerge as a superstar.  She sat me down in front of a TiVo'd episode and my jaw dropped.  I could not believe what I was seeing and hearing.  How long has it been since a bonafide superstar rose up? Fresh, funky, queer, sweet, original, super talented, gorgeous, did I say sweet?  I was over the moon for the kid from the first song I saw/ heard him sing.  I was one of those middle aged women groupies the bloggers talked about.
I never heard him say anything about being gay but this kid was obvioulsy very queer.  I didn't give a flip whether he identifies as gay, straight, bi, trans.... whatever.  He's amazing and I could not wait for Tuesday night to roll around so I could see what he would do next.  It was a treat to sit and wait for his original arrangments, his unique phrasing, and his magnificent voice.  I began to describe him as the love child of Elvis and Freddie Mercury.  He blew me away.
The fact that he did NOT win the American Idol competition is proof positive that "Idol" is a crock.  Yes, yes, I know it's all about the voting.  But this guy was so far above the rest of the class that even they knew it.  Only near the end did I realize that there was an entire subculture of hate and homophobia that was operating against him the whole time. 
Pardon me but I live in Canada and spend half my time in Boston and I just forget that most of the US is full of homophobic folk who will go out of their way to express their moral high ground by running down anyone who doesn't fit their male masculine/female feminine binary gender construct.  He never made any issue of his sexuality or gender identity one way or another.  But his "difference" made him suspect.  And suspect is all that is needed when bigotry is involved.
Which brings me to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and Lt. Dan Choi.  Now Lt. Choi is a very good friend of a close friend of mine.  My friend Sue was one of the first women at West Point.  She is part of the organization Knights Out.  Lt. Choi is about to get chucked out of the military like a sack of garbage even though he's a talented leader, an arabic linguist, and a loyal member of the miliatary who WANTS to continue to serve the United States.  And President Obama, for whom we had such high hopes only days ago, has not yet seen fit to do what he promised he would do... namely do away with "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."  Meanwhile, in other news, he did propose the most horrificly futuristic "indefinate detention" for people he (we can only assume) thinks may, sometime in the future, commit acts of terror against the US.  Yes.... that's what I said.  Sounds like a movie doesn't it?  But I digress....
Lt. Choi is an asset to the security of the United States.  So why is he being thrown out of the military?  Because he dared to say,  out loud and in public, that he is a gay man.  Ooooooo scary.  That is really a frightening prospect.  He might actually translate a message that will allow us to stop an actual terror attack by radical haters of the United States and then go home and cook dinner with his male partner and (horrors) lie down in the same bed with him and rest so that he can get up and go to work protecting our country again the next day.  OMG!  Call somebody! We cannot have this!
Really people, what are we doing here?  
Get off your duff and write your congressman and senators.  Call the White House (ask for the comment line when the very rude man answers the phone or he'll cut you off in mid sentence... yes, yes... in the Obama White House).  Log on to KnightsOut.org  and click the "Take Action" tab.  And talk to your friends, your kids, your family and bring this ridiculous madness out of the closet.
The security of the United States is important to every citizen of the US and to most of the rest of the world as well because we are a symbol of democracy.  Should we really sacrifice security for moralistic bigotry?  Get real.

US Invades Canada

After days of bombing raids across the border into Canada, centered on highly populated areas of Toronto, US tanks and armoured personnel carriers crossed the border at Fort Erie, Niagara Falls, Lewiston, and Windsor today moving the heavy artillery and ground forces into the areas inside Canada that have been the source of missel launches in recent weeks.  For two weeks preceding the bombing raids into Canada missiles have been flying from various places in the Toronto and Hamilton area into the United States.  While most of the missiles have hit farm land and lower populated areas, air raid sirens have filled the night air since before Christmas as over 200 missiles were launched from terrorist forces inside Canada.  While the Canadian government and the Canadian military are not being blamed for the missile attacks on the US, the retaliation has resulted in many civilian Canadian deaths.
After 7 years of consistent terrorism by missile attacks and suicide bombers from inside Canada, the US has finally decided that the terror must stop.  As the international community wrestles with the issues involved in the retaliatory action, the US continues to attack the Golden Horseshoe area of Ontario relentlessly.

Sounds crazy?  Yes... it is.  And no this scenario is not exactly the same as the complex set of circumstances between Israel and Hamas that has Gaza caught in the cross hairs but looking at this this way takes away the strange "bent" the American media's coverage of the situation.  I thought I'd lost my mind when I woke up one morning to see Israel bombing Gaza.  I had to DIG to find out that for TWO WEEKS the missiles had been coming over the border into Israel, over 200 in that shor time... more than a dozen missiles a day for two weeks. Can you imagine the terror?

I'm sick for the Palestinian people.  My heart aches for the destruction that is resulting from the retaliation.  And my heart aches for the soldiers in the IDF who fights this war in heavily populated areas. I think of the parents gathering their children into basement bunkers more than once a day, everyday, to keep them safe from that one missile that hits it's mark.

I'm not against Palestine, not at all.  I think the Palestinians deserve a homeland.  It was a horrible mistake not to make that part of the post WWII division of land in the region.  But just change the names and faces just a little.... and it's easy to see how it has evolved in these past few weeks. Hamas fired missiles into Israel today.  They vowed to make Gaza a cemetary for the IDF.  And it is becoming a graveyard for the Palestinian people.

Pray for peace.  Pray for peace.  Pray for peace. The protests are becoming larger, anti-semitism is enjoying a comeback.  I do not defend Israel in all that they do.  But Israel has a right to exist and to defend itself. 

We need only look at what the US military did to Afghanistan and Iraq in the service of fighting terrorism to see the pattern.  And all this on the day that Al Franken becomes a US Senator. What's next? Rachel Maddow for president?

Pray for peace.

The "Ayatollah" Rick Warren

Now first let me apologize to all my Muslim friends for appropriating a legitimate word that describes a Shiite religious leader who also has political power.  I'm using the word in quotes to denote it's unorthodox use.  But make no mistake, I MEAN to evoke the memory some of us have to the radical cleric Ayatollah Khomeini who was prominent in Iranian politics through the 1980's.  He supported the taking of Western hostages who were held for months in Iran ostensibly in reaction to the United States allowing the deposed Shah of Iran exile.  He understood the culture of the West as evil and corrosive to the values of his country and his religious views.  He viewed the West with disdain and considered people who did not conform to his religious views as evil. He wanted an Islamic revolution to sweep clean the more tolerant parts of the tradition and force his fanatical views of theocratic governmental power even on his fellow Muslims in other countries.  And he certainly had no mercy for those of the Jewish or Christian persuasion, they were just dead wrong. Evil actually.  And so they were characterized as evil-doers.

Enter Rick Warren.  It's 2008 in early December.  He is being interviewed on Fox "News" by Sean Hannity. In the interview Hannity asserts that since the current President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, "....denies the holocost, wants to wipe Israel off the map, is seeking nuclear weapons..." that the Iranian president should be "taken out," assumedly a euphemism for assasination.  Hannity publicly seeks Warren's blessing by asking him if he's "... advocating something dark, evil or something righteous?" To which Warren responds in true "Ayatollah" fashion by agreeing in saying that stopping evil is the "...legitimate role of government. The Bible says that God puts government on earth to punish evildoers.”  Ok so we just have the right to assassinate the leader of a sovereign country because he's a loud mouthed, arrogant, nutwing who scares us and says nasty thing about our friends? Is it just me?  Is this not religious fanaticism on the order of say... Khomeini?

Now look, I'm not happy Rev. Warren has likened my relationship with my lesbian partner to incest and child abuse.  And I think it's terrible that he needs to compare a woman's right to choose to genocide or the Holocaust.  It does not make me happy that President-elect Obama, from whom some of us have rekindled hope of a decent America, has chosen to give a platform, a pulpit really, to give Warren's dominant hate filled views even more credibility. And let's give Warren his due, he works to aleviate poverty, he had Obama visit his church during one of his AIDS events.  He does good things.  I won't quibble with that.  But really, really good lies have a kernal of truth in them as well.  And this guy's good works are good works to be sure and people are helped.  But does that offset the pain and anguish caused by his other views? 

So here's the question... Would it be OK with President-elect Obama if the President of Iran had a cleric do a public prayer at the biggest party in the country in the view of ALL of the press of the world by a guy who had publicly OK'd the assassination of the President of the United States?  I'm thinking no.  But maybe it's just me.

Active Waiting: A Queer View of Advent

The peace of Christ is coming into the world, once again.  Yesterday marked the beginning of Advent for Christians who follow a Lectionary calendar.  If you're keeping up it's Year B in the Revised Common Lectionary.  The readings for yesterday were grim and menacing.  An angry, name taking, bum kicking God that we can't seem to figure out if we want to come near or go away from. This angry image of God reminds me of how I felt as a child when my father was really angry with me.  I was terrified of him and yet I was so hurt that he withdrew his love from me in his anger I just wanted to run to him and wrap my arms around his waist and cry and beg him to love me again.  Needless to say, this is not a helpful image to me as a 52 year old lesbian struggling with health issues, time constraints, fears about the economy, not understanding why I have so many wonderful projects and jobs and calls to ministry in my life.

Last night I read the sermon of a close friend who spoke about the concept of hope enfolded in our duty to "actively" wait this advent.  I got such a clear image of the difference in standing around, shuffling feet, passing the time until my issue is addressed, my email is responded to, my phone call returned.  But it's a very different thing to live more fully into the Serenity Prayer and "actively" wait.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I canno change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  So what if I've made the decision that there ARE some things I can do to change the injustice of bigotry and hatred toward people who are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and transgender (GLBT).  I live as an out lesbian, I stand up for civil rights for all people, I critique my own community's understanding of bisexual and transgender issues, I work for equal marriage rights for everyone even as I am outspoken about the pitfalls of reproducing the heterosexist dominant paradigm with all it's attendant power dynamics issues.  I call myself "queer" sometimes to shock people, sometimes to make the GLBTQI (yes there are more!) alphabet soup more palatable, and sometimes to refer to a theoretical space called "queer."  And in all those three cases I'm just strapping on the word and wearing it like a souvenier.

Queer is not GLBTQI, queer is not homosexuals having equal rights to marry, queer is not who I have sex with or how many or how often.  Queer is tearing down the power structures that trap people in oppressive systems that beat them down and stifle their creativity and spirituality.  Queer means walking through life doing power analysis on every structure, system, institution and relationship in my life.  Queer means working for justice at every turn.  And maybe most importantly, queer means using my privilege as a white, educated, middle classed woman to work for justice for those who are oppressed by MY privilege.  Yes I need to work for equal treatment and an end to homophobia.  But I actually am duty bound, I believe, as a Christian, to work HARDER for those who are oppressed by my privilege.    I can't just strap on the name queer when I want to or when it suits me.  I need to live queer, be queer, work for justice queer.

So I look at my life and I do what I can.  I do whatever I can on each day at each juncture.  And while I'm waiting, and I will surely have to wait for the results of my labour, I work for justice in another area.  Yesterday I wrote a response to what I percieved to be short sighted letter that I thought promoted hate toward people whose religion is Islam.  I wrote my response and that was what I could do yesterday. Last night I stood over the body of a man who had lived with his transgender partner for 40 years and said prayers for him, for her, for my friends who loved him, too.  Today I can write this blog and begin to articulate what I learned from my friend's sermon about active waiting and responsibility and what it really means to be queer.  Tomorrow and Wednesday and Thursday and on will provide more opportunities.

A week ago tonight I sat in hospital all night waiting for blood transfusions to be delivered into my body.  I watched the bag of blood, I called the nurse when the alarm went off, I kept awake to be mindful of the infusion line and be sure it was not kinked or clogged, I watched movies and did my best to busy myself and remain calm and not fight what needed to happen.  I spent a whole night awake, waiting, watching, listening and keeping my mind busy so I didn't become more of a burden on the nurses who were caring for me.

That was active waiting, much like the waiting of pregnancy.  Women who have been pregnant have a special understanding of active waiting.  Taking care of their bodies, preparing the home, just getting through the day when tiredness and physical pain slows her down. And the family prepares and buys and rearranges the house to make room for the new addition.  These are just a few examples of how actively we await a pregnancy.

So what if we make a decision this Advent to actively wait for justice by working for justice at every turn.... not just for our own issues, but by using our privilege to help others?  Waiting, watching, working, praying.  Let's have a very queer Advent that causes us to look at the power structures around us and evaluate anew what we can do... one day at a time. And then do it, do something.... one day at a time.

It's snowing and the wind is howling.  The US is in a recession.  Our neighbors are hungry and frightened.  Let's work together.

The peace of Christ is coming into the world again.  Thanks be to God.

The Heart of India

 I am closely following, as I'm sure you are following, the events in Mumbai, India as the crisis enters the third day of terror.  News of the Rabbi and his family's murder, news of the father and daughter visiting India as part of a meditation group from Virginia, news of a Jewish man from Vancouver who escaped, news of the young Indian boy whose entire family have been killed and no one has the heart to tell him about it, pictures of blood and bags and shoes left behind when the bodies of the dead were removed from the train station.
And now news that most of the terrorists were Pakistanis.  The blame game will begin in hours... India against Pakistan.

I can do nothing but pray.  There are likely bodies yet to be found.  There may be injured dying without help inside buildings still under seige. Other injured in pain and living each moment in terror. The security people and police are obviously in need of our prayers for their safety, for their comfort, for their sanity.  We certainly need to pray for the officials of the Indian, Pakistani, British, US and other countries government for clarity of thought and action.

My hope is that we pay attention and not look away or become desensitized to the horror.  We cannot allow this to become normal or acceptable.  We must continue to work for peace and justice, safety and security for everyone.... every single person in the world.

May the God who makes us all One touch our hearts to motivate us to work for justice and comfort us in our greif.

What if.....

I don't usually play the "what if" game.  It's usually a fruitless endeavour that wastes my time in a "la la land" of wishes and whines.  But I've been thinking today about all the time and energy and money and creativity and synergy that has erupted around demonstrations condemning the passing of Proposition 8 in California and other punitive anti-GLBT ballot initiatives in Florida and Arkansas.

I've been absolutely amazed to hear that there were demonstrations in 300 major cities in the US this weekend.... 300!  Holy cow.  That's a LOT of mostly white, mostly economically privileged and surely mostly over educated queers getting up off their sofas or leaving their lattes to just get up and DO something.  It's utterly amazing.  You usually couldn't blast us out of our Home Depot buying, yard working, antique shopping, dinner party giving selves with a stick of dynamite.  But letting something so egregious pass in the liberal haven of California has suddenly awakened this sleeping giant and has us demonstrating in the streets for justice.... JUSTICE!  Equality! Religious pluralism!  It's gratifying to know that something has the power to get us off our bums.  But....
I can't help but wonder why we weren't in the streets with signs about 43 million people in this country that have no health insurance and therefore little or no access to healthcare. Isn't healthcare a civil right?  And what about poverty and homelessness, no jobs for young black men, no opportunity for poor kids of all colors with no access to education.  Isn't that important?  And speaking of healthcare what about the transgendered people in our midsts who are utterly disrespected by the healthcare system?  Why aren't we demonstrating in the streets about the government's tolerance and blind eye to estimates of 60% infection rates for HIV in minority populations in Washington DC.... 65% estimated in minority populations in Jackson, MS.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying this isn't important... although I think we need to be critiquing marriage as much as working for equal access to it... but I digress.  No I think that us getting up and getting in the streets is a good thing.  I just hope that one day we grow up and realize that until all of us are free, none of us are free.  Until all of us have access to civil rights, none of us do.  Until all of us have healthcare, none of us do.  Until there is justice for ALL, there is no justice.

President-elect Obama.... Now that has a nice ring!

I admit it.  I never thought the United States could elect a black man president.  Even when Hillary was fumbling her campaign so painfully I still supported her because I thought a black man could not get elected.  I was wrong. The kids were right. 

The day I went to Toronto and got married to my female partner I thought I had learned my lesson on "possibility." The day I sat in a hockey arena for the consecration of an openly gay man as a bishop in the Episcopal Church in New Hampshire I thought I had learned my lesson on "possibility."  And yet I doubted.  But President-elect Obama spoke to me directly last night when he said, "To those who still have doubt... tonight is your answer."

I wept as he spoke.  I wept for every person I've seen victimized by racism.  I wept for every racist thought I've ever had.  I wept for my lack of imagination that kept me from believing this could happen.  I wept with joy in anticipating seeing the United States of America restored to respect and ethical action in the world.

I understand the challenges are not over.  President-elect Obama is considering Larry Summers as Secretary of the Treasury.  Larry Summers believes that women are genetically inferior to men intellectually.  He was ousted from being president of Harvard for those neaderthal beliefs.  Yet the transition team for the Obama administration is considering someone who believes that one group of people are genetically inferior to another group of people.  We're not out of the woods simply because we have a president who understands privilege from one perspective.  We still have work to do to hold this administration responsible to BE all that it can be.  I've already sent my email to the organization on this subject.  I hope you will do the same.

Today my prayers are doubled for President-elect Obama.  I pray for his safety, for his health, for his wisdom, for his faith to be sustained, for his strength, for his hope to be realized.  May God bless President-elect Barack Obama.  And my God bless the United States of America and the whole world... no exceptions.

Palin Hangover

Ok there's no need to reprint it here.  Just follow this link and READ it.Gloria Steinem Op Ed
I rest my case.